Sometimes it feels like Chris and I are constantly in “launch” mode, so this seems like an appropriate word to use to start responding to these fun daily prompts from WordPress. Perhaps it is because we are millennials (by definition), or perhaps it’s because we are both not exactly happy in our daily work. Or maybe it’s because we have debt that we want to catapult ourselves out of and this is the only way we can feel like we are doing something.
Whatever is propelling us, it seems like there is always something new to think about. Right now, we’re trying to get this blog off the ground (and we have an ethereal deadline that we have to keep secret right now), and Chris plans to blog about his journey back to in-shape-ness, and I want to kick off my career as a freelancer. I also am trying to re-work my Poshmark, Vinted and Mercari profiles so that my identity is more cohesive across the board. On top of that, I’m trying to learn to code and want to write a book.
But, as I’m writing this, I’m realizing that many of the things I apparently consider “new” are actually old ideas and tasks that I’ve been working on for years. Instead, it feels like they’re new because because I want to make them better before I can consider them “launched.” So, that means there are things we’re trying to complete, things we’re actually starting, and some things that are somewhere in between. Let me separate this out:
What we’re/I’m trying to complete:
What we’re actually starting:
What’s somewhere in between:
In all honesty, even Chris’s blog about getting back into shape has been on his mind for almost two years, so our one sort-of-brand-new thing isn’t brand new at all.
Why am I sharing all of this? I suppose the reason I want to flesh this out is because I’m frustrated. It seems that whenever I’ve read something about starting something new, (like how to start your own business, or how to start a blog, or how to write a book, etc.), the posts I’ve read often seem to be written as if the idea is brand-spanking new. They also often seem to be operating with the presumption that everyone is super-organized and has their life under control. Like someone can just start following the rules they put forth without consequence and without shifting things around.
But I believe that more people are like us in that they feel they always have ideas. We are constantly trying to start something new, even if the ideas that drive them are actually years old. And I don’t think we’re alone in that. Even people who don’t have “creative” endeavors like the ones I described are looking for a new job, or trying to save for a trip, or searching for a house, or looking for a better school for their kids.
It leads me to believe that the only way to complete anything is to embrace the chaos that is life and the chaos that ideas create and hang onto the threads of the things we really care about doing.
Chris and I really care about doing everything in the above list, even though it is really difficult to focus on them sometimes.
But, when I separate them this way from the things that seems to be getting in the way (namely, my full-time job that I don’t like, and the commute to said job), I can see them more clearly, and I can feel urgency about them like I’ve never felt about my work where I spend most of my time and energy.
I don’t think that “launching” has to refer only to the beginning of something. I think it refers to the feeling of starting something new, the feeling of taking hold of the reins and putting your life on the track where it belongs.